My Testimony

I'm writing this in the hope that someone will put their trust in Jesus Christ.

In late August of 2007 I was driving home from a weekly charity meal (irony #1), and a minivan pulled out in front of me. He was going slow with the blinkers on, and I started beeping and getting full of myself. He eventually pulled into a store parking lot, and he waved with his arm as to say "come and fight". My ego kicked in over-drive, and I actually did a u-turn in traffic so I could catch up and be a tough guy. After getting out of my car, trading a lot of filthy and weak talk, I gave the guy a back hand slap. He handled it well. I had more than a couple opportunities to walk away, and I did, until he said some more filth that made me walk back from my car. It's pathetic how we let our egos take control of us like that. I wasn't exercising one fraction of real manhood there, just weakness. After more bantering, he quickly gave me a punch right in the center of my face, breaking my nose. I'm not much of a fighter in the physical sense of the word, and it was obvious. I retaliated a little bit, and the guy started flailing so violently that he ripped my shirt in half and left a tiny scar above my lip. Man, I'm a little angry just typing this.

One of the things I've been self-conscious about for years up to that point was my nose, and since it got broken I'm even more conscious about it. Isn't that sad? We have all dealt with vanity to some degree, and we have obsessions about things we can't really change. I continue to deal with those things, and it can bring me down if I let it. Praise God that we are wonderfully made by Him, and that these bodies can be vessels for a spirit stronger than flesh.

So, after that was over I called the police to tell them that I was assaulted. Go figure-- I'm the one that started the whole thing, and now I'm playing the victim. I did get my face jacked pretty good though, and I was bleeding pretty bad. Cops and an ambulance show up, and I'm eventually cuffed to the stretcher I'm laying on inside the truck and arrested for assault. The cop said there was a witness of the whole thing, which isn't exactly true. Before the cops showed up, the guy was talking to a couple of people who didn't actually see everything. In any case, I asked for it. This is irony #2.

Around a week after that incident, I was feeling more bitter and regretful about what happened, and my conscience was talking to me. I already hired a lawyer and paid him $1,500 at that point, and I lied to him by telling him I was hit first. I was sleeping one night, and I had this dream of a head in a box, floating in front of me in a cold, blurred darkness. There was another one in back and to the side of it. The face in front of me was disfigured and contorting in the dark light, and I couldn't distinguish it. It was terrifying, and I thought that it must be my head in that box. I woke up in tears and gave my life to Jesus Christ. I asked the Lord to forgive me and take my life. I declared that I believe in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and I asked for guidance in my situation. That was the last nitemare I ever had.

I was standing in a hallway, outside of the courtroom I was assigned to for my hearing. My case was already called, but the other guy didn't show up yet. I was very conflicted as to whether I should lie or tell the truth and keep some dignity. I was even thinking about mentioning my new found faith during any questioning. Craziness! Standing there waiting, I started to think, 'hey, he might not even show up'. I was struggling with myself so much that it didn't even cross my mind until that day.

God's unconditional grace was working in my life, even though I was teetering between revenge and doing the right thing. He saved me from making that desicion. God is love. Our Holy Father knows our needs, and he gives us our daily bread even though we never deserve it. Don't fall victim to sin. Put your trust in Jesus Christ, and be victorious in your life. I am so blessed by our Lord, and it took a punch in the nose to see that.